telling-etienne said: pizza and makeup.
Pizza: when the cheese and toppings fall off in a big hunk like wtf am I gonna do with this?
Makeup: when it won’t stay on my face or when one half of my face looks on point and the other looks like I put it on while riding a rollercoaster.
Anonymous said: sending you some love <3
Thank you. I really appreciate it. My dear friend meant so much to me.
Anonymous said: *hugs you*
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
And I cried belly sobs into my towel, crawled in next to my mom and tried to breathe in some of her love. Your obituary was poetry. I didn’t know you made those cookies for Cookie after he died but now that I know it, I’m not surprised. Now it’s the only logical answer. I want to bake brownies for your funeral and shape them into bouquets and offer them like communion wafers at your services.
I imagine the last place I saw you frequently. A bus shelter in front of a suit store on the square. You kissed my cheek and promised me drinks Monday night. I gave you a finger wave.
I wish I would have pulled you back and extracted a promise to take care, to maybe take a lap on that plane. Take two. Just not go. Stay. Stay. Stay.
Where I want to go home because if I do that, I don’t have to go to the funeral and I can pretend that this never happened.
I am drawn and empty and I can only feel things very briefly which is why I prefer being asleep.
A week ago I was sitting on my couch crying intermittently and trying to pretend like nothing was different. I have had a headache for the past week brewing at the base of my skull.
This was not how my summer was supposed to go.
I just need to get blindingly drunk and feel powerful again.